Posts Tagged ‘love’

Clumsy Beast Falling.

Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Sometimes I take myself too seriously. Sometimes its good to just sit back and laugh at your failures instead of dwelling on them. I am clumsy as shit, and pretty darned uncoordinated to boot. Ever see those videos of cats wearing socks trying to walk? That’s how I feel like I go through a lot of life. Fact. No biggie, though. It is what it is. I invite you to check out a couple of my less than perfect moments in surfing….. or maybe we should just call it falling? Cuz man, these are just no good at all. Enjoy and have a laugh! :)

Yup, Nailed it!

Um, no.

Balance is key.

Effortless.

Barely breaking a sweat.

A real natural.

Textbook.

Finding a happy place.

Friday, September 6th, 2013

I haven’t written in a hot minute, and generally I try to keep things upbeat on here. But I’ve have a bunch of things swirling around in my mind recently, and thought that it might be helpful to pick up the keyboard again. Just a heads up.

When I’m feeling sad and alone, when life feels too loud and bright and like its spinning out of control, when I feel helpless in taming things I try to go to my happy place. It’s a beach about and hour and a quarter from my house. It’s a place I feel safe and comfortable. Where I run into good people that I know who do good things. Where I can strike up a conversation, or keep to myself if I’m having a day that I want to be alone. I feel like it’s my home away from home. The best time to visit is between September and May when its cool and quiet, and most of the summer crowds have left. I surf when the surf is good. I walk the beach when the waves are flat. I take in the beauty of nature and relax into the calm of thinking only in the present.

I watch the gulls splash and bathe in the shallow shore water and soar overhead. And while they are normally little bastards who try and steal my loaded bagels, those birds make me happy to watch them doing their normal goofy seagull things. Watching the sets roll in over and over and crashing with the most calming regularity. Way better than any artificial white noise machine.

In September the air has started to cool and it feels like fall. Luckily the sun is still bright and warm and feels good on my skin. It takes me away from all the dark that has seeped into my life and that I am now stuck with the complicated task of figuring out how to replace it with goodness, and then growing from this whole thing.  All of the hurt and loss and guilt. Disappointment and that which I have tried to grasp, but have been unable to thoroughly understand. So I walk and think and stop to write; to get things out of my head; to keep them from bouncing around.

Collecting bits of scattered sea glass brings back a tinge of an old fond memory, which is now too painful to dwell on. What do you do with all of those feelings, or do they just fade and you have to suck it up and deal with them until they do?

A couple flying kites. The wind messing up my hair.  The creepy old shirtless man wearing guyliner, who asks to take a picture of me shortly after I’ve finishing crying behind my sunglasses and keeps making small talk about the Blondie concert he just went to.. These things bring me back into the present and remind me to keep going. To try to replace the bad thoughts with the good. There is no good result that will come from dwelling on things that I can’t control or change. My control freak self needs to just settle down in the sand, feel the wind in my hair, the sun on my face and sit back and take in the beautiful sets of waves rolling in and crashing over and over. Wonderfully consistent, steadily.

Oh Darling by Plug In Stereo

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

This is a super feel good song, and the video is pretty nifty too! Plug in Stereo is from Portland, OR. Also, this is my current “singing in the shower” song. :)

New adventures: 1 of 30 – Hammock procurement.

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Hammock with Fifi and me.

Originally uploaded by emmasart

#1 on my list of 30 New Adventures Before Turning 30 was “Purchase & use a hammock in my yard.”. I decided to make good on that a few weeks back.

I’ve always loved hammocks. Laying in them. Reading & writing while blowing back and forth in a wonderfully cocoon-like net. They are totally blissful and relaxing. I came across one at Lowe’s for about 60 bux, and decided to take the plunge.

We hung it in our back yard, between 2 trees, and cleared out the poison ivy underbrush directly underneath it. It’s delightfully stealth green, meaning that you can’t see the hammock unless you’re kinda hunting for it. The sun peaks through the forest canopy sometimes, but you’re generally reclining in a fair bit of shade with a nice steady breeze that comes down the hill through the woods behind our house. It’s pretty fricking awesome.

I’ve been spending a boatload of time in it, as has Devon, as has FIfi. She loves it & its crazy to see her climb around in it. She totally goes all psycho arboreal lizard in it, climbing the ropes like jungle vines. It’s quite a sight to behold.

All in all, this is a great adventure. And I can’t believe that it took this long for me to finally get a hold of one of these things. They rock. Though the one downside is that it’s quite easy to lose track of time relaxing in a hammock.

1 of 30 completed.

4 years of wedded bliss!

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
Goofiness

4 years ago I was having my hair done and putting on my wedding dress.

Right now, I’m sitting in the office of OUR HOME, next to my man. Drinking a warm cup of espresso.  Devon is working, unfortunately, but I think his day started out on the right foot, with me bringing him breakfast in bed…… It is our anniversary after all. :) The traditional 4th anniversary gift is fruit and flowers, so it works out well that his breakfast tray had a flower from our yard and cut up fruit.

The 4th anniversary is supposedly supposed to celebrate ideas and symbols, and the flowers symbolize the blossoming partnership of a couple. I’ve noticed that a lot recently. Our relationship growing and evolving into something slightly different. Not bad by any means, just something different. And the more care, love and attention you put into it, the more beautiful it grows. Maybe less flashy, but more true. I’m still ever so in love, and learning more about Devon every day. What makes him tick, and what makes him happy. How to read his face and body language.   And he has learned that sometimes all I need is chocolate and an hour of watching “Oprah”. :)

I love you, Devon. I promise to be the best gardener possible. :)

Fear of losing words.

Friday, June 19th, 2009

There’s been a whirlwind of craziness around this house. Devon’s server broke, so all of our websites were down for a while, as well as email. My email is somewhat working now, although all of my old e-mail is gone from the server as well as my current laptop. Luckily it should be saved on my old laptop, but it’s gonna take a while to get it all moved over.

I dunno why, but it’s really nerve wracking that all of my old emails from the past 10 years could be lost. Emails from old friends and ex’s regarding situations long past. The first emails that D and I ever exchanged. Emails from dear friends that remind me why I love them. Really happy stories that are sometimes forgotten, as well as poignant words that helped me get through some of my darkest hours. I’m sure that I’ll be able to recover the data from my old laptop, but I just have so many conversations that I want to keep. It sounds somewhat rediculous, but I’d certainly end up going through a period of mourning if it was all lost.

It’s moments like these that make me want to start soley communicating via the mighty pen.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

Happy Muh-thah’s day to my MAH!

I have an awesome time hanging out with you, you give fantastic advice, you have exquisite taste and I get my extraordinary good looks from you. Oh, and you birthed me.  (Thanks for that, btw!)

I hope you have a wonderful day! I luv ya!