This made me totally crack up in giggles. From a Facebook group called “I hate when people say they’re from Boston, but really aren’t”, a tongue in cheek post:
Newsflash!
The city of Boston is extending residency to all citizens of Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire. Also included in this inundation of newly christened Bostonians will be all members of the “Nation” which of course is all fans, coast to coast, of Boston’s sports teams. This decision handed down by Mayor Thomas M. Menino is somewhat controversial, but it is something that Menino felt “had to be done.” Menino, Maureen Feeney, and Ted Kennedy have been under immense pressure from the “wanna-be-Bostonians” to bestow citizenship upon them. And after months of “careful” debate and deliberation, Menino and his state associates have succumbed to this mounting pressure and will implement this plan effective January 2009.
As a journalist born, bred, and raised in Boston, I have taken much interest in this developing story. I have my own personal feelings toward this sensitive subject, but in order to remain unbiased, I spent all of yesterday interviewing via phone and email people on both sides of the issue. Emotions ranged from elated to enraged as most of the people held strong opinions one way or the other towards this problem. Diane Weir, a dental hygienist from Dorchester, Massachusetts felt that “Menino is making a monumental mistake. Being from Boston is one of the most unique things a person can own. Being a true Bostonian is like being part of a very exclusive club that everyone else wants to be a part of. Menino is ruining our special club.”
Many others echoed that sentiment, but there were also those who were ecstatic about the decision. Mary Dineen, a stay-at-home mother of five, lives in Worcester, Massachusetts which is about forty minutes outside of Boston. She could not be happier about this new residency, “For years I have told people I am from Boston. In the back of my mind I knew that in reality I lived in Worcester, but I truly felt like a Bostonian. I watch the Red Sox, Celtics, the Bruins, the Patriots, and the Revolution! I have always felt like one at heart, but now I can truthfully say I am from Boston!”
Worcester is quite a ways outside of the old city boundaries, but I also wanted to get a first-hand look at the scene in New Hampshire. After the decision was announced last night, the governor of New Hampshire declared all schools and businesses shut down for today in order for everyone to share in “the state’s most important day in history”. The scene reminded me of Boston when the Red Sox were parading through the state celebrating after their recent World Series victory: It was absolute mayhem. Everyone over the age of thirteen was drunk and people danced in the streets. Songs like “Shipping off to Boston” “Dirty Water” and “Sweet Caroline” echoed throughout the streets. One young man wearing a Kevin Garnett jersey, a Red Sox hat, holding a picture of Tom Brady thought this was the most exciting day of his life: “Dude, oh my god. This is wicked awesome. I’ve been driving around in my cahhhh all day freakin’ having a wicked awesome time. SWEEET CAROLINE! BUH BUH BUH!” His accent needed a little work, but he had the spirit.
The outlook in South Boston, West Roxbury, and Dorchester was the polar opposite of New Hampshire and Worcester. Thousands of people holding signs reminiscent of the anti-busing riots in the 70s protested Mayor Menino’s verdict. One child, who looked to be about five years old, was holding a sign which bluntly and comically stated “I’d rather die than grow up with people from Worcester.” An elderly woman rolling down the street in her wheelchair had a sign sticking out of the back of her chair which read, “We got rid of the curse of the Bambino. I didn’t realize I’d have to deal with Menino.” Chants of “Here we go Boston, here we go!” and “We are…Boston! We are…Boston!” resonated down city streets. There were threats of working strikes, defacement of government property, and even suggestions of building a city wall. The architect behind this master plan was East Boston native Michael Wyatt who was telling anyone who would listen to him, “It’s simple. We go to the Pike and block the tolls with cinder blocks. Ain’t no way they will get through that. And if they do then we kick their ass!”
This may have even been good for the city, as people of all different races and ethnicities were able to gather around a single cause for the first time in the city’s history for something other than a “Rollin’ Rally”. It was quite a sight to see young and old, black and white, all together putting racial tensions aside. Racial differences may have even completely deserted the minds of the Bostonians within this angry mob. Even in the midst of all the chaos I was able to stop some of the protesters for a few words including Suffolk University student and Roslindale native Connor Duggan who was quite adamant in his words, “(expletive) Menino! Boston is my city and I’m sick of all these clowns from Gloucester and east(expletive) saying they are from Boston. I got a newsflash for them: if ya don’t live in Boston, ya can’t be from Boston!” While Mr. Duggan may have been a little raucous, I thought he was a great sample from a mostly hostile crowd.
Mayor Menino was most accommodating to the media as he fielded questions for several minutes, and his explanation (for those of us who understood it) was that too many people from outside of Boston were already saying they were from Boston, so why not just let them be a part of our city, “The great see-aBoston nowhas new mmlebers that we wllwelcome. Thisis libratin’ for our neighbors jusoutsida the see-aBoston. This was neshary for us.”
Well Mr. Menino, after speaking with hundreds of Bostonians, there seems to be an easy solution to the problem at hand: Let them say they are from Boston. Let them. Maybe someone from California might not be able to tell the difference between Dorchester and Worcester, but Bostonians can. Bostonians know who is from Boston and who isn’t. They know whose accent is just a little bit off and whose rings true. As Diane Weir said, Boston is like “an exclusive club”, but true members can tell the difference between an impostor and one of their own. Let them share in our sports teams and the glory years that Bostonians have been lucky to be a part of. Just because they aren’t from the city does not mean they can’t cheer for the same teams as the people of Boston. They do make the trip from Providence to Fenway Park or the TD Banknorth Garden, so let them be a part of history, but do not extend residency throughout New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The people of Boston have spoken and it is clear that this will not be a popular decision. There are eleven months until January 2009, so please; Bostonians implore you, don’t let the city be destroyed. Being from Boston is an honor, and only those who have lived here know the importance of it.
Allston, Brighton, Back Bay, Beacon Hill, Charlestown, Chinatown, Dorchester, East Boston, Fenway, Hyde Park, Jamaica Plain, Mattapan, North End, Roslindale, Roxbury, South Boston, South End, and West Roxbury. We are Boston and we are proud.
Westie represent!!!
And apparently, now, Nashua represent too!
I knew I didn’t move that far away!