Emma’s Fantabulous Blog

Howdy gang! ….Although it’s been 2 months(!!!) since my last confession, er, blog post, so who knows who is still checking this regularly? Soo, what’s been a’happenin’?

The holidays were a blur, but full of goodness. Family & friends, awesome presents relating to surfing and modern Italian design home decor, crackling fires in the fireplace, a Christmas lizard of doom and other things like that.

I’ve been hitting up a bunch of local rock/punk shows at the Middle East, which has probably been my fav music venue since I was a wee teen. The most recent show I took in was a Punk vs. Metal night, with all sorts of fantastic bands, including the August Spies, who used to play most of the punk shows that I saw in high school. It’s always nice to learn that some Boston punk bands from the ’90s are still around. Ahhh, I’m old.

But yeah. I gotta get better with this whole keeping up with my blog thing. What with discovering microblogging via Facebook and Twitter, it’s harder to make myself sit down for 30-60 minutes and write a real blog post. But I’m gonna give it a shot again.

So last night I was out drinking at a bar….. Ok, I know some of you think  that you know where this is going…. “Just another one of Emma’s stories which would make her parents proud.” Hear me out. In actuality, I was just out having a post-dinner cocktail with a dear friend, at Eastern Standard (a snazzy &  hip eatery/lounge in Boston’s Kenmore Square, which prides itself on authentic cocktails from the pre-prohibition era.). So we walk in & I snag us a couple of stools at see through glass bar by the door. At that point I notice a strikingly dark, tall and handsome gent standing by the waitress stand & say to myself “Wow, he’s really good looking!”.

Let me stop here and say that I am married to the most amazing man in the world who makes me incredibly happy. Devon is the love of my life. That said, I believe that there’s nothing wrong with admiring some eye candy once in a while.

Back to the “lounge”. So, tall, dark and handsome turns around and notices me, and I give him a big cheezy smile, because I’m a mega dork. He smiles back and at that point I realize that he looks very familiar….. I try to place him… Tall, kinda wild brown hair, big wrist cuff, tight & low slung hipster jeans, in a really cool eatery….. And all of a sudden my mind puts 2 +2 together………

Ok, this picture isn’t the best ever….. But!!!!   It’s fricking Sam Talbot from Top Chef’s Season 2!!!!! During his season of the show, he came in 3rd place (but in my opinion was the most talented out of the entire group). Ok, so most people probably have no idea who he is, but I think I’m a pretty big foodie, in addition to being a majah Top Chef junkie. Season 2 was probably the most enjoyable for me. I never really had the hot’s for Sam during the show, although they always made a big deal about him being “the hot contestant”, but man, I can totally see why now that I saw him in person. He’s no my husband, but he’s almost somewhat close.

Anyways. We totally shared a moment, and then I totally had drinks with him (from the other side of the bar). And after he left, our waitress and I recounted how we closely we had come to destabilizing into puddles of ooze.

God, I love this town.

So, in September, my mom took my aunt and I on a exciting “Girl’s Gone Wild” weekend in Las Vegas.  We packed a whole hell of alot into 2 and a half days, and I wanted to share what I thought was dank.

Our Hotel: Planet Hollywood. Dank, but crowded.

It was in the middle of the strip. Great if you’re into hoards of annoying/drunk uber-tourists, but not so awesome if you’re into a little more of a chill scene. We had a nice room on a high floor with a great view of the strip and a super gigantic bathroom, which was great since we had 3 ladies getting ready at the same time. The room’s decor was nice & modern with some vintage movie props. There is a gigantic mall built around the hotel which had some super amazing shopping and there were about 20 dining options to choose from. I think that if we had been bigger into the club scene & staying up late thing, we would have enjoyed it more, but in all honesty, I never got used to the swarms of people.

Activity: Stripper 101. Dank pole skills.

Every wondered how the girls on “Rock of Love” work the pole as well as they do? Take this class and have new appreciation for their skills. Learn the how-to’s of giving a sexy lapdance. Then learn the basics of working the pole. A week and a half later and I still have the bruises on my legs to prove how much of an earnest learner I was. Add in a free photo of you working the pole, and an alcoholic drink to get your inhibitions lowered…. How can you afford to NOT take this class? Although, It was awesome to have some bonding time with my mom and aunt, I would probably recommend others to not do  the same as I did. It’s kinda awkward to be straddling a chair while learning how to “get paid” next to your blood relatives.

Show: The Thunder From Down Under. Dinki-di Dank!

Hot guys with buff bods and Australian accents, who do choreographed dance routines with fireman themes? Please, and thank you! Maybe not the most polished dancing from males on the strip, but it was obviously clear from their moves that most of the guys were into chicks. Also, 3 jello shots for $5 was a saweet drink special. I enjoyed watching the show. I was really glad that I wasn’t at the table that one dancer climbed and then poured a drink all over himself (ala Flashdance), but it was totally awesome/hilarious to watch.  Also, it was totally worth the $20 to get my picture taken on a couch with 6 of the dancers. (who were all very friendly and chatty & totally dug my hair, bracelet and shoes…….. wait a sec… I may have to rethink my previous stance on how straight the majority of them were….) All in all, though, I totally dug the show, and would probably go again if I got the chance.

Show: Jubilee! 9 out of 10 show choir members would vote it Dank.

Picture this. Naked high school show choir on crack. That’s Jubilee!  Amazing outfits with tons of feathers and sequins. Gigantic 2 story props with smoke and fire, and they move! And nudity! What’s not to love (if you’re an ex-show choir member)? Book the show in advance to make sure that you get seats close to the stage, like we did, and you’ll be so close that you can read the names of the dancers off the bottoms of their shoes. Shout out to Colette! Nice moves

Restaurant: Koi - Dank Japanese food

Beautiful venue, beautifully presented food. The vibe was very hip and modern. I ordered the Seaweed Medley, which was amazing. I’m a big fan of seaweed salads, and this one went above and beyond. They usually contain one type of seaweed, and this one had 3 or 4, most of which I’d never tried. It was delicious, perfectly seasoned, and was artistically presented. I also had the yellow tail and scallion roll, which was also delicious and the fish tasted very fresh. I’m a huge fan of sushi, and this place did not disappoint.

Restaurant: MIX at Mandalay Bay - Dank food and view

This restaurant is located on top of THEhotel and has one of best views in the city, IMO. The food is pricey, but super fancy and well-thought-out.  I ordered a veggie terrine, which name alone, doesn’t really sound great, but in actuality was totally fan-f*cking-tastic! The crab salad was also delish. For dessert we split the MIX candy bar. OMG. It’s the candy bar of your wild-ist dreams.

In general, we had an amazing trip! Girl’s gone wild, whoo-hoo!

Holy crap, it’s October already. The air is crisp, the leaves are changing color and grocery stores are selling pumpkins already. And here I am, still hopeful that I’ll get 1 harvest-able zuchinni from my garden before frost sets in. I think I’m boned.

September was totally insane, but probably obvious, since I barely posted last month. I visited Puerto Rico, Las Vegas and NYC, while also taking care of Mistress of Honor duties in my best friend’s wedding. Not to mention having house guests and doing somewhat less glamorous activities. I think I’ll be writting up and posting some reviews of places I went/saw/conquered, because I’ve been having a really great time trying some new things. So keep your eyes peeled for that.

Also, now that the surf shops are all closing up and I wont be able to rent gear, I need to find some sort of physical activity that I enjoy, won’t easily bore me and that I can do during the dead of winter. Any suggestions?

WJW Fox 8 Cleveland does a ridiculous story on a bear in a lady’s backyard

I started crying because I was laughing so hard!

Recently I’ve gotten into surfing. I go to a ladies’ surf night in NH and I’ve been having an amazing time. I’ve started looking at surfboards to see what my options are and have noticed that huge number of women’s surf boards come with hibiscus flower motif’s on them. I’ve also been looking at getting a new motorcycle helmet since my current one is pretty old & should be replaced. In my browsing for women’s motorcycle helmets, I’ve found that the hibiscus motif plague has invaded this area as well. It’s crazy! The manufacturers of inherently bad-ass things are decreasing their “bad-ass factor” by sticking hibiscus flowers on everything. What the heck is up with that?!? I like pink flowers as much as the next girl, but when I’m looking to buy something for one of my non-frou-frou hobbies, I don’t want a stupid hibiscus flower stuck on it….

Therefore, in honor of this phenomenon, I give you a list of 6 things that are made WAYYY less bad-ass (and/or butch) by having a hibiscus flower on them……

#6. A mens’ tie. Unless you’re from Hawaii (and even that is up for debate), you should not be wearing these.

#5. A Knife. A knife is inherently bad-ass. So, why would you go about and muck it up with a design on it? Imagine yourself on a dark night in a bad section of town. A thug jumps out of the darkness and challenges you to a knife fight. Then you whip out this “shank”. True, you might very well win the fight, but only because your opponent would be extremely vulnerable while they are rolling around on the ground in utter hysterics.

#4. A motorcycle. Good for you for customizing your ride, but really? Couldn’t you have gone with some skulls or flames? Or flaming skulls?

#3. A motorcycle helmet. Just imagine yourself:  Sitting pretty wearing your pink hibiscus helmet, riding your hibiscus motorcycle. Looking the the total opposite of bad-ass. Although this look definitely has potential to work if you are employed as a flower delivery person…….

#2. A surfboard. You could totally be one of the guys with this awesome surfboard with a floral motif. Except none of the guys would ever be caught dead riding your chicksauraus-maximus board.

#1. Cufflinks. One question: Why are these even necessary when you can buy cufflinks with ammo on them?

Battybrush

Originally uploaded by Theremina

This is the most amazing picture ever!!!!

Jane Mansfield’s bathroom

Originally uploaded by lorryx3

I just had to haul my vacuum upstairs to vacuum the only room on the 2nd floor with carpeting (shag carpeting specifically).

Guess what room that is…..

It’s the master bathroom.Yes. Our bathroom has brown shag carpeting in it. It just seems so wrong. Our house was built in 1980 and I imagine that the carpeting was installed then…. I don’t even want to know what type of infectious diseases and bacteria are flourishing in my bathroom. I am sooooo looking forward to redoing that room and getting that crunchy carpet out of there!

Today is July 1st and it’s currently 62F and thunder-storming. It has been like this all week…. May I reiterate: It is July 1st!!! Where the heck is summer and it’s obligatory beach days! You better get on that.
Thanks!